Make Like Gwyneth and Consciously Uncouple
Forever love - as beautiful as it sounds – is a really long time. So after 7 years of commitment, adventure and eventually domestic stagnation Ben and I decided to consciously uncouple…for context he prefers the term part ways but since Gwyneth is my spirit animal I will continue to refer to our break up as a conscious uncoupling.
Ben was, and always has been, a brilliant partner-in-crime. He’s hilarious (in a dry, self-deprecating, OCD sorta way), kind and excellent at cleaning up after me and doing all the laundry (soz for that!).
He was the yin to my yang and a stabilising force in my life. Yes, opposites attract but living together gets hard when you both want vastly different things and are heading in opposing directions. It’s fortunate that we both recognised the need to separate in order to be the happiest as individuals.
Our conscious uncoupling was the cause of much sadness, grief and tears. But when the conversation is “I love you, I want you to be happy. What does that look like?” you know that you're entering the next stage of your evolution.
Who you were and what you wanted will and should change. Relationships are vehicles that teach us so much about ourselves and are catalysts for expansion. The worst thing you can do is stay in a relationship because you're scared of being alone. Change can be scary, triggering and it can send your entire universe upside down. But on the other side of change is joy and growth.
Is it weird to have nothing but admiration and care for your ex-partner? Absolutely not. Take responsibility for your actions and your part in the relationship. Hating each other, making each other miserable, dragging each other through drama and chaos is fucking retarded and should not be the norm nor should it be treated as acceptable.
Ben, if you ever read this - THANK YOU. Thank you for showing up and for holding my hand through our entire break up. Thank you for loving me the way you do, for bringing so much stability, care and laughter into my life. You taught me how to ground, you got me to stop running and you showed me how to trust. The only thing I dislike is your stupid new haircut (why a mullet?) and that god-awful mustache which you should change immediately. Other than that, you are an almost perfect human and I will be forever grateful to have been your partner-in-crime and now your friend.