Why your guru sucks


In traditional Indian custom, the Guru (Sanskrit for Teacher/Master) has the responsibility to share the purest and highest form of knowledge with his or her disciples. It’s unfortunate that the modern day ‘guru’ has been grossly watered down to the creepy, teetotaller pervert spreading the benefits of meditation, the anorexic yoga teacher pushing weight loss programs and the cocaine fuelled wellness guide plugging the benefits of going Paleo.

Oh.come.ohm – I love dichotomy and the interplay between light and dark, but seriously?

Most of our modern meditation/ spiritual practices have been hijacked by a new era of charlatan; pseudo-health professionals, spiritual ‘guides’ and the ill-informed meditation teacher. They’re all selling the same thing – health, love and peace.  And people are buying it. I’m buying it.

Yes, I’m the idiot who keeps buying this nonsense in the faint hope that one of these ‘gurus’ will impart some genuine knowledge or give me something other than the usual sugar-drenched wisdom that pervades most modern spiritual practices and can be found in most yoga rooms.

I love the idea of a quick fix, one week to greater clarity, confidence and peace – yep, sign me up.

But alas, a single week mind cleanse will not ‘reset your brain.’ This statement is fundamentally untrue – the only thing that might is electroconvulsive therapy (formally known as electroshock therapy) and that’s used to treat severe depression, bipolar and schizophrenia.

I just want to be happy.

Maybe I’m just a lazy fu*ker who hates the idea of hard work and soul scraping excavation but as consciousness continues to expand and more people wake up to their immense creative potential the need for genuine Teachers, lighthouses and inspired souls grows. People need to believe in something (not someone). In the darkest of hours it’s our faith – not the false idols – that offers the most solace.

I was always taught to see the God or the goodness in all beings and we all have a little bit of Godliness within us. Instead of looking towards my Teachers, a popular blogger or a super flexible yoga teacher I need to recognise the infinite wisdom, compassion and love that lives within me.

That’s empowerment.

It won’t take a week and it definitely won’t ‘reset my brain’. I won’t lose any weight and I’ll continue to eat bread.  But I’ll be my own Guru. You can find your own.