This is the worst advice ever


I’m the biggest Self-Love, Self-Help and Spirituality Junkie on the planet. I eat all that shit up. But no teacher, blogger or wellness guru has ever told me what NOT to do…so here are my Top 10 ways to really over complicate your life.

It’s the ultimate go-to guide for more drama, worry and fear (your ego will love you for it.)

  1. Stay in denial – everything’s fine, no really it is. You might be drinking everyday, your relationships are in tatters, your finances are a mess and you’re starting to smell funny. But really, everything is just A-OK.

  2. Date a drug addict – nothing says Self-Love more than trying to rescue a person who refuses to help themselves. Read Woman Who Love Too Much for further examples

  3. Have an affair – be the other woman or other man. Cheat on your partner repeatedly. Feel guilt and conflict but just do it anyway because its fun and you can.

  4. Mentally obsess – I think you should replay every shit situation and interaction over and over and over again in your head. Analyze what every word, hand gesture and eye twitch means, regret is also a valuable inclusion here.

  5. Develop a substance abuse issue – I like red wine, you might like Valium – lets play?

  6. Stay in a job you hate – who needs purpose? Be a hater instead. Hate all over your boss, your office, your clients and everything that you do. Just don’t quit. Hang it there for as long as you possibly can.

  7. Spend all your money and max out all your credit cards – live for today, you wont need money tomorrow. Responsibility is completely overrated anyway.

  8. Spend more time with your toxic, parasitical friends – especially the ones who drain you and make you feel terrible about yourself, they’re the keepers.

  9. Stretch yourself too thin and over commit – just say yes to everything and put everyone else’s feelings above your own (you’re not that important anyway) Make yourself a martyr instead.

  10. Eat pizza, and trans fats 5 times a day – cant see your genitals over your gut, perfect. Job well done. Bonus points if you stay inside and refuse to exercise.

And that my dearest, is the worst advice I could ever give you. A guaranteed path to unhappiness and disillusionment. So ask yourself, “Where in my life am I being a d*ick? How can I choose happiness instead.” It ain’t any of the above, thats for sure.